How To Deal With Pain: Just A Baby
by softnsensual457
Summary: After a few weeks of not hearing from Brian, John gets worried. Part 1 of 7 in the How To Deal With Pain series


Title: Just a Baby

Author: viol8dbyalizzard

Summary: After a few weeks of not hearing from Brian, John gets worried.

Disclaimers: Not mine

Notes: VERY OOC. No flames. I warned you.

John Munch sighed as he knocked on Brian Cassidy's door for the tenth time. It had been about two weeks since he'd left and he promised to call him, but he didn't, and now he wasn't answering his door. This worried John.

"Bri, it's me, John. Open the door," he called through the door, still recieving no answer. Finally, he used his emergency key, running through the apartment and calling his name until he reached the bedroom. Thime he found Brian curled up in an upright ball in the corner with tears running down his face.

"Bri," he whispered to himself and ran to kneel beside him. "Brian, what's wrong? What happened?"

"H-How could they do th-that? Sh-She was just a. . .a baby. H-How. . ." Brian muttered and John realized what he was talking about. Cragen had told him. So, he pulled the man into him arms and held him close. Brian fisted his hands into John's shirt and buried his face in his neck as he sobbed. From then on, all he whispered was, "Why?"

"Shh, it's okay, Brian. It's okay. Just calm down. Everything'll be fine," John soothed, but Brian shook his head.

". . .Why. . .a baby. . .never did anything. . ." This was all John caught. Then he decided to help Brian change his clothes and eat, but first he needed to get him bathed.

"Come on, Brian. You need a shower, to put it bluntly," Munch said and gently pulled him up off the ground. The man's limbs, however, didn't agree, and dragged him back down. John caught him ,though, and swung him up into his arms. He gently set him down the toilet and turned the water on to filll the tub. Once that was finished, John helped Brian out of his clothes and into the water. He knew Brian was shy, but he just sat there in a daze, moving like a robot. While he washed his hair, John tried to get him to talk, but to no avail. When he was finally clean, John dried him off, got him in some sweats and a tanktop, and laid him down on the couch, covering him with a blanket. The John kneeled next to the couch and brushed a stray lock of hair from Brian's eyes with a gently hand.

"I'm gonna order some Chinese, okay, Bri?" Brian nodded and John gave him a small smile before standing and calling for their food. About ten minutes later, John was sitting on the couch with Brian's head on a pilow on his lap.

"You okay?" Brian shrugged. "Come on, Bri. Talk to me. Curse me out, hit me, something! I'm really worried about you."

"I just don't understand it. Why--" Brian started, but anothe bout of sobs cut him off and he buried his face in the pillow. Munch sighed and began carding his fingers through the chocolare colored hair.

"Look, Brian, I'm happier _not_ knowing why these freaks do what the do. I know this is going to stay with you for a long time, but everyone at SVU has your back. Especiallu Cragen and me, but you know what? That girl is going to need you, too. She trusted you with he rstory, so you've gotta help her. And we'll help you. Okay?" John said and Brian's sobs grew quieter as he nodded. Then the doorbell rang and John helped Brian sit up so he could answer it. He came back with their food, set it on the coffee table, and dished it out in equal portions. Brian didn't eat, though. He just stared at it.

"Brian, you have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'll feed you myself if I have to, Bri. I have three nieces and I babysat them all the time, and you know I'll do it. I'm not gonna let you starve yourself." Brian sighed and started eating and John patted his shoulder. "Good man."

When they finished eating, Brian was leaning against him, half asleep. John laid him down, put the food in the fridge, and went back to the couch, letting Brian lay his head on his lap again. He pulled an afghan over the now-shivering Brian and tucked it around him. The young man didn't close his eyes, though, sp Munch ran his hand up and down his back soothingly.

"Get some sleep, Bri. I'm not going anywhere," he told him.

"I can't." Brian's voice was raspy.

"How come?" John spoke as if Brian was a child.

"Everytime I close my eyes, I see. . ." Brian shuddered and pulled the blanket tighter. He turned his head to look at John with helpless eyes. "I haven't slept for three days, John. All I do is have nightmares."

"I'll be right here. I promise, I'll wake you up if you have one."

"But--" John cut him off by raising a hand to his mouth.

"Sleep." He removed his hand. "I won't leave you."

Brian nodded, but grabbed John's hand before hesitantly closing his eyes. As soon as he did, though, the images flashed before him and he squeezed John's hand tightly. The man stroked his knuckles with his thumb and whispered to him.

"It's okay, Bri. Just breathe. It's okay." John continued to talk him through it until he finally fell asleep. He sighed when he did and gently put Brian's hand under the blanket, laying his own hand on the man's chest because there was nowhere else.

"Goodnight, Bri." And so, Johnn closed his eyes, resting up for the long night that was sure to come.

THE END

FEEDBACK!


End file.
